Starza (starza_reviews) wrote,

Ho man...

Trying to find good fanfic on is a rarity. More so with YnM being as old as it is. I also tend to avoid the communties on because:

1. They're for old fic. Like 'back in my day!' old.

2. The community owners tend to have very different tastes from mine. Aka, seme!Hisoka. Like people still have this seme/uke mindset even today!? GET LAID ALREADY!

3. They tend to recommend one author like 20 different times. So if you don't like said author's works... yeah, you're screwed. ~_~;;

So yeah... That means I have to comb on my own. Granted, YnM is a small fandom (On Ao3,, it's still a pretty decent number), and it's not very active anymore. Though the last time I read fic for the fandom was at the end of 2004 before I got heavily involved with World of Warcraft, so a lot of it is newish to me still.

Combing through is never fun. I do find a few gems here and there. But not in this case!

Also, it seems doesn't take it's 'no lemon' policy seriously anymore because finding E rated material is pretty damn easy to find on Though, really, this story can get away with the T rating, it barely counts as a M fic.

Title: Stay With Me
Author: lil'hp fan124
Genre: Flangst
Rating: Auther rated it M, but it can get away with a T
Warnings: Boring ass fluff, out of nowhere angst, fanpoodle japanese
Couple (if applicable): Tsuzuki/Hisoka

Plot: 5/10 - Basically, Tsuzuki randomly comes over Hisoka's house, silliness occurs, fandom cliches up the bumhole, makeout session, OMG TRAUMA, happy end. It's cliche, it's littered with fanpoodle japanese, there's translation notes at the beginning of the fic, it's... honestly not even worth the read. Not because it's cliche or even boring, but because freaking translation notes at the beginning of a story ALWAYS makes me cringe.

I mean, there's not much else to say about the plot, because there really kind of isn't? It's perfect if you want a sort of pick-me-up random fluff fic. If it was better written, then it would be a good choice. Obviously...

Writing 3/10 - I'm going to keep saying this until I die, aren't I? STOP WITH THE FUCKING FANGIRL JAPANESE! Like holy fucking shit. Either fucking translate everything or write the mother fucking thing in japanese! Like EVERY phrase (With the exception of 'Ne') can be perfectly translated into English. And even 'Ne' can be translated. The only exception I'll let is 'san', 'chan', 'kun', 'senpai', 'sensei'. And even then, those COULD be translated. And I'll only accept it if the canon takes place in Japan. In something like a Final Fantasy fic, it takes me out of the story. More so when I have to refer to cliffnotes.

Your fanfic isn't a fucking research paper. The ONLY time cliffnotes are acceptable is at the end of the story and should only be used to explain something to your readers. The next story series I cover on here will be a perfect example of HOW to use cliffnotes to your advantage.

Also, too much 'noun verb' sentences yet again. ~_~;;

The only reason it doesn't go lower is beause no glaring spelling/grammar errors.

Characterization: 5/10 - Same old fandom cliches, same old 'SOKA!' parade, same old flirty!Tsuzuki, same old Hisoka freaking out because 'omg, that night!' You read it a thousand times before. And how did they go from waking up from a nap to making out? And Hisoka's perfectly okay being with it to freaking out? There's like... no emotions behind this fic? It's kind of hard to explain. It's like the fluff in this fic got run over by a steamroller. It might be because we don't really get a clear picture into Hisoka's head, and the irony of it is this is a first person PoV, so we should be inside his head!

It's also bad we go from a make out session that Hisoka is perfectly okay with to 'omg TRAUMA!' because 'WE NEED ANGST, STAT!' or because 'OMG THAT NIGHT!' with like no build up. Yeah, if you want to play the 'omg, TRAUMA!' card, you need BUILD UP! I feel like I started at Point A and went to Point C, and I'm left wondering wtf happened to Point B.

Negatives: Cliche, fangirl japanese with cliffnotes, very flat flangst
Summary: Hisoka gets a late night visit from an obviously drunk Tsuzuki. And... stuff happens?
Overall: 4.3/10 - Pretty mediorc flangst fic. If you're desperate for flangst, I'd still say look elsewhere.

Next up, a series that I want to cover. And this series... is probably going to be an unpopular opinion type of thing, so be warned!
Tags: fanfiction, yami no matsuei
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